Welcome back to another riveting week of Wedge Football. Man it’s tough to make power rankings after this week! Teams that once seemed indomitable last week are now seemingly brought back down to Earth. Your week 1 grace period is over. It time to besmirch and slander the pathetic little teams that you have all drafted.
CHAMPIONSHIP CONTENDERS
1. I am Inevitable (1-1)
I mean you guys are probably asking how did this team get such a high ranking slot in this week is power rankings. It’s because i write the power rankings so what i say goes. With a relatively easy week 3 against a historically week Steak N Eggs it’s easy to see this team being 2-1 next week. You should all feel blessed that you are in the presence of true glory. Also your teams are all dog water with the exception of like 3 other teams. There is hope for you all however, waiver wires completely revolutionize teams and this week is a juicy waiver wire week!
2. Annalysse’s Team (2-0)
Owner Annalysse is the owner of one out of two undefeated teams and the leading scorer of both weeks. It’s hard to imagine this team faltering but I don’t expect this owner to keep riding this high. However i do see her making the final four contenders in this league. I mean this team is 50 points ahead of second place….. Being Annalysse’s first victim in this league I can personally attest to the threat that is her team.
3. Inglorious Bastards (2-0)
Next on the block we have Owner Calo with his undefeated team that is ranked second place by yahoo. once deemed an easy target for the past two years of this league it seems that Owner Jonathan has seemingly reinvented the wheel of his team. Seems this owner took his team seriously when there was a $100 bet constituted with I am Inevitable. Only time will tell if this previously pathetic team will break stereotypes and go all the way.
4. Bamboozle Bandits (1-1)
I mean you look at this team and the first question that pops into your mind is “how is this team in the championship contenders.” Obviously there are high value players on this team like ekeler an Joe Mixon but you look at the rest and you just ask yourself quietly “Is this team dogshit or is he getting bailed out by lucky performances.” Yahoo had originally projected this team to get dead last but it seems that Owner Laughlin is in it to win it with his team. Keep a close eye on this volatile team as it is either going to shoot off and remain with the top contenders or have his name drug down into the mud.
THE MEH TEAMS
5. Adolf Rizzler (1-1)
let me give you some key advice here you piece of garbage. one does not publicly besmirch and slander the Editor-in-Chief multiple times in the Wedge League groupchat without experiencing the wrath that is Editor-in-Chief Crossland. You got 20 pieced in your week two performance by a guy in 9th place. I mean it’s fair to give atleast one positive about this team is that he’s at the edge of the Championship contenders and has a clear chance of taking it all the way at this moment. However after that horrendous performance it’s fair to drop this team a few slots in the rankings. You can still turn this ship around but i stg one more outburst and i’m putting you in the biggest loser slot for Week 3. Anyways good luck Adolf Rizzler, you can still clutch this out.
6.Kaceys Unmatched Team (1-1)
Jesus Christ Kacey what happened?? you were literally on my favorites list to win. You need to get your shit back together asap. another loss like that and the Editor-in-Chief will not longer be able to defend or tolerate these kinds of performances. I should rank you lower but given your outlier performance week 1 i’ve decided to spare you and give you what little you can salvage. Do not disappoint again.
7. Stephen’s Notable Team (1-1)
Alright this is where the teams start to get a little confusing. Im not sure whether to make fun of this team or offer a solace of hope that they still have a chance. It’s early in the league and a lot can happen but given this week. It should be noticed that he is playing a pretty evenly matched week 3 against Adolf Rizzler. Stephen i’m not gonna lie you got a lot banking on the next week. You don’t want the tarnished reputation of being a laughing stock of this league do you? there’s a lot of money on the line and only those who prevail in the league get the honor of being invited back. God speed to you and your team.
8. Steak and Eggs
Owner Willie, I truly thought that you were going to break stereotypes this year about the reputation of your team but it looks like I could be wrong. if you were as great of a fantasy manager as you were a chef i’m sure you’d be in first place but we need to look at the cold-hard facts when dealing with fantasy owners. You have a measly 201.46 points for. I mean you can look at the positive and say that you atlwast broke 200 unlike two other teams who i will soon get to. There are positives to look at. if you take this as a serious wake up call, there are opportunities THIS WEEK. to immensely improve your team. if this has any interest to you, you can give me a reach to my personal cell and i’ll show you the next steps.
BOTTOM OF THE BARREL TEAMS
9. Nicks Splendid Team (1-1)
This is where i feel bad for you Nick. I really thought you had a good chance to go all the way but after being plagued with an injury of what was probably your best player who will remain out for the rest of the league it’s hard not to laugh at what remains of your squad. Such is the unfortunate reality of fantasy football, one moment your riding the high of the league and the next youre in the poverty stricken teams of this league. you have however, learned a valuable lesson in all of this I guess. You’ve learned life’s not fair. thanks for the $100. Change your team name to something other than default and win your next game and i’ll raise your ranking.
10. Daniel’s Fabulous Team (1-1)
what is up with people keeping their default names in this league this year?? I mean it makes sense most of these people are at the bottom but it clearly overall shows a lack of interest in the league and the performances associated with this clearly indicate that. Danny you’re one of two teams to yet break 200 points overall. I mean you got travis kelce back last week and it might be fair to say he’s not back to his full performance yet but still. Sub 200 is inexcusable. lots of play ball though to catch up and one can only hope that you can only go up from here right danny??? RIGHT?!?!
OWEN TWO TEAMS
Chester the Molester (OWEN TWO)
oh man, I have been looking forward to writing this power ranking more than any other power ranking. I’m not even going to dignify you with a placement for your team. I always save the best power rankings for last or in other words you could say the best rankings for the worst team so let’s dive right in. This man’s team was once formidable and even won the championship last year but as even owner Crossland experienced the curse of going from first to worst and that’s exactly where we are at. i mean you’re lucky you barely scraped by 200 points or else i would have even more fuel to this fire. You scored less than 90 points in your week 2 performance dude lol. i’m not sure if you left your laptop out while drafting and let your pet cat click random buttons as you were drafting but holy shit you need some work. Also why is it that two out of three walker boys are in 11th and 12th place? I can stop the pain JT. JUST WIN ONE GAME JESUS CHRIST.
BILLY HEATH (OWEN TWO)
Jamie wanted to write this power ranking but alas he was taking too long and I have to get this wrapped up so i can move on with my day. Billy i’m not sure whether to laugh or feel bad. honestly i can’t put my finger on it because the team doesn’t look that bad but i would be showing bias if i didn’t roast your team like so many teams before you so alas, having the least points for is inexcusable and not having a win to your name is a bad sign. what are you going to do Billy? you’re at the bottom so you get first pick at waiver wires which is imperative in a league but at the same time there are two ways this can go. you can go up in rankings or you can remain where your at with the rest of the bottom. i would recommend looking at the picture posted to the #9 ranking spot if that has any interest to you. God Speed.
Waters Edge Football League 